the lack of cuddling i am experiencing right now is upsetting
and that’s when it came up and swallowed me millionth dollar
My dance style ranges from white dad at a barbecue to stripper whose rent is due tomorrow
The audience at the 1994 NAACP Image Awards reactions when Michael Jackson walks on stage.
hash browns will be served at my wedding
I’m glad the portrait of Ben Franklin stayed the same on the new $100 bill. There’s something about his slight, tight frown, the paternal hint of disappointment in his eyes and those pursed, sealed lips that seem to say, “I don’t approve of what you’re doing, but I can’t stop you from rolling this banknote into a straw and ripping a fat rail of white lightning in the Buffalo Wild Wings handicapped bathroom stall, you goddamn beautiful disaster.”
*snapchats and texts the same person at the same time*
this is my love letter to azlyrics for not being annoying as fuck like other lyric websites
u know someone is having a rough day when their favorite song plays and they don’t sing along
27 Years Ago Bad was released on this day.
stop defending that nasty cottage cheese that is joan rivers
"Don’t wear a hoodie if you don’t want to be mistaken for a criminal and shot."
"Don’t get drunk at a party if you don’t want to be sexually assaulted."
"Don’t argue with a cop if you don’t want to get killed."
"Don’t walk home by yourself if you don’t want to get raped."
Victim blaming 101: Everyone should live in fear from ever doing anything.