theme

all im interested in right now is laying in bed and kissing a lot


yoiplait:

terms for penis you should not use in fics:

  • love stick
  • doinker
  • schlong
  • wankie
  • ding dong
  • 100% all-beef thermometer
  • bologna pony
  • stinky pickle
  • magic wand
  • divine rod
  • love muscle
  • power drill
  • captain winky
  • yogurt slinger
  • DNA rifle

REBLOG IF YOU WOULD LIKE SOME ANONS IN YOUR INBOX 



  • 15-year-old me:  MOM I'm practically an ADULT ugggh you never let me do ANYTHING in olden times i could get MARRIED *eye roll into another dimension*
  • me now:  for my birthday i want food and to stay on your health insurance

proctalgia:

i love when dogs sigh. its like, hey bud, long day at the office?


nickelbackthatassup:

when I was six I threw a tantrum because I wanted a slushie from 711 and I remember my dad said “I will never buy you a slushie” AND LITERALLY RIGHT NOW HE CAME IN THE CAR WITH A SLUSHIE AND I WAS LIKE WHY DIDNT YOU GET ME ONE AND HE LOOKED ME DEAD IN THE EYE AND SAID “REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE SIX”


thespacegoat:

remember a few years ago when the parody account MorgonFreeman made this post

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and now to this day people still think he said it

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that’s my favorite thing to ever happen on the entire internet


suspend:

me everyday:

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laughcentre:

don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes




mymistakesandretakes:

ohscarjo:

dehoppus:

thisisalifeyoucantdenyus:

Everyone looks worried apart from that guy on the far left.. 

i like how the guy on the right is so shocked he becomes a teapot

he becomes a teapot
he becomes a teapot

I’ve been laughing for the last 7 minutes because of the teapot guy

mymistakesandretakes:

ohscarjo:

dehoppus:

thisisalifeyoucantdenyus:

Everyone looks worried apart from that guy on the far left.. 

i like how the guy on the right is so shocked he becomes a teapot

he becomes a teapot

he becomes a teapot

I’ve been laughing for the last 7 minutes because of the teapot guy


phoenix-falls:

malformalady:

Wisconsin snow storm versus flooding in Ireland

Ireland isn’t fucking around with the sealing capabilities of their doors

phoenix-falls:

malformalady:

Wisconsin snow storm versus flooding in Ireland

Ireland isn’t fucking around with the sealing capabilities of their doors


Anonymous said:  Over the past year, my sexual fetishes have been slowly getting more perverse; But it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I realized I'd hit rock bottom.

swinging-onthe-spiral:

iguanamouth:

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I’VE SEEN THIS POST FOR THE PAST TWO DAYS AND JUST NOW GOT THE JOKE.

MOTHER FU-


girff:

cyberho:

I’m having a sexy party and I need some sexy meat 

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